Once upon a time, there was a family. A mother, a father, and their children. On the outside, they seemed to be the perfect family: joyous, lovely, and peaceful. But beneath this façade lies a darker reality, highlighting how appearances can hide domestic violence.
Domestic violence is violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. Domestic violence has been part of U.S. history, even if it’s hidden by other monstrosities inside our textbooks. Even before the U.S. was a country, there was domestic violence.
Hammurabi’s code is a prime example of domestic violence, particularly where it states that if a woman who is married commits adultery or leaves her husband without proving cruelty, he is instructed to drown her. Even in 753 B.C.E., a wife could be legally beaten as long as the stick/rod was no bigger than the base of a man’s right thumb.
There are plenty of other examples of domestic violence in our history, but when looking at the present, domestic violence is still a threat and a problem in today’s society. However, many incidents are not reported for several reasons. The first one is fear. When someone you thought loved you starts to abuse and harm you, you become scared of them and start to realize that it could cause more pain to you if you tell someone. They may threaten a close younger family member or your close friend, which makes you stop in your tracks.
In addition to fear, another reason is the shame and guilt that develops inside a victim. They start thinking that it was their fault, that they were the reason this was happening to them. They begin to believe they are the reason they are being abused. There is also the chance that they feel embarrassed about the abuse, even though it’s not their fault.
We also have to take into account the emotions the victim feels toward their abuser. Many times, people want to give a person who has wronged them a second chance. A chance to redeem themselves, and while most of the time that’s good, there is the occasion that it’s not. If a person keeps hurting you over and over again, there’s a huge probability that they aren’t going to change. But people still tend to believe that there is some hope for change.
There’s also a chance that the victim could be inclined to have low self-esteem. They feel that they don’t matter and start to give in to the abuse as they slowly lose their strength over time.
All of these are prime reasons why so many domestic violence or abuse incidents don’t get reported. But we have to factor in that you just don’t know. How would you know that your neighbors, who looked perfect on the outside, could have dark secrets? Many times, whenever we see something wrong or out of place, we’ll question it, but if someone can give a sort of decent explanation why, as I fell on my back, we come to the resolution that nothing is wrong. We don’t probe and pick, but instead just accept what’s been told to us. We let ourselves be blinded by the ruse of a perfect family or a happy couple. We aren’t able to really see what’s behind the curtain.
